Miller and Sissy Update, Part 2

Sister Girl went home Friday.

We are trying to find our new normal. Our house is so much quieter without her feisty little self. My heart aches for her, and if I’m being honest, part of my flesh wishes bio mom had failed so we could keep her. I know, I said it and it’s terrible. And it’s not fair to this girl or her family and it’s certainly not what Christ wants. And honestly, 90% of my heart is grateful for this outcome. I want Sissy to have her mama. I want her to not have questions when she’s older as to why she doesn’t live with the one that birthed her. I am proud of mom for getting the ball rolling. I’m grateful for Sister’s sake that both her mom and her dad have made efforts to be in her life and are doing well. I’m working on praying for mom. And I don’t mean praying for her for Sis, but for HER. Because she deserves our prayers. She deserves a second chance. We all do.

We are sad. Josh and I catch ourselves constantly doing things or saying things we would when she’s here. I’ve cried more than I care to admit. I don’t love the situation. We’ve had her since she was a tiny two-week-old. I watched my husband grew so very fond of Baby Girl. We took her to doctor appointments and specialist appointments and celebrated graduating from the specialist! I’ve seen Miller love on her and play and wrestle and steal toys and kisses from her. She’s one of us! She’s my girl. She’s Josh’s “sweetheart.” She’s Mill’s “Sissy.”

We had her for Halloween.

We had her for Thanksgiving.

We had her for Christmas.

We had her for New Year’s.

We had her for Valentine’s Day.

We had her for Easter.

We had her for Memorial Day.

We had sleepless nights. We comforted her as she cut two teeth. We saw her start to smile, sit up, almost crawl, pull-up. We soaked up every snuggle, kiss, smile, and tear. We bought presents and took pictures and shared her with our loved ones. We LOVE this girl. She filled a void we didn’t know we had. Or maybe we did know we had it, but it is all the more apparent now that she’s not inhabiting our home.

Y’all, she will absolutely hold a place in all of our hearts for the rest of our lives, but she isn’t ours. She has a mom and a dad that although aren’t together, they each love her. This is the second hardest thing we’ve ever navigated. And the bottom line is that Sister Sue deserves love regardless of the choices the adults in her life make. I am grateful we were able to love on her.

Throughout the eight months we had her and a few other angel babies – four to be exact, from 13 hours to one week – I can’t tell you how many times we heard, “Oh, I could never do that. It’s too hard! I wouldn’t be able to let her/them/him go.”

“Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.”
-Matthew 18:5

Ha, we know those feelings all too well. Our tribe feels them. But if we focus on these babies for a minute, our hurt doesn’t seem so important. Some children are ripped from their flesh and blood and the only normal they know to be put into the home of someone they don’t know and don’t trust. These children deserve people ready and willing to stand in the gap while their life is decided for them. They DESERVE love. Like, overbearing, smothered in kisses, spoiled-rotten love. It isn’t about those of us that can make our own decisions and have the ability to pluck people out of our own lives. It’s about the innocent, the helpless, the abandoned. It’s our duty to love them.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Matthew 25:34-40

Brace yourself, I’m about to jump on a soapbox I never knew I’d have.

Did you know 67% of Abilene kids removed from their homes have to also leave Abilene because there aren’t enough foster homes available? Y’all, two out of every three babies, first-graders, sophomores. 2/3.

These babies should have loving, Christ-centered homes for a day, a month, or a year while their parents do the work. Or don’t do the work! And the powers at be decide how and with whom these children should live.

God doesn’t call the qualified, he equips those he calls. Here’s your call! 😉 If you can’t foster, OK! Pray. Support someone who is. Create/join a Wrap-Around Group for family/families. Become a CASA volunteer. Pray! Provide respite care. And pray.

(Steps down from soapbox.)

A couple weeks ago when we’d learned Sister was going home, I heard a song by the Sidewalk Prophets that just hit differently than it had before. The lyrics are as follows:

Since Sister Girl left, her mom has graciously shared pictures and updates to ease our pain and worries. She seems like her happy little self. She is eating and sleeping. She is OK and it helps our hearts, even if we (OK, me) still cry at the drop of a hat or a long hug or when Josh turned her monitor on out of habit last night or folding a blanket she used or sitting in my car at United this evening… Foster care is HARD. But it is so very rewarding. And worth every tear we may shed knowing this girl had a safe and happy first eight months of her life.

We have some more amazing updates on our Miller Man that I’ll share soon, but this is heavy on our hearts and I needed to get it out. As always, thank you all for following along as our family celebrates, mourns, and grows. We could not do this without the community around us.

Love,

Josh, Jac and Mill