Big Bro Status

Hey friends!

It has been a long minute since we’ve updated on our family. Last blog we shared Miller was expecting four exciting things in 2020 – some happened, one was postponed, and we’ve added one! I feel like now is as good a time as ever to bring that aaaaalllll back up:

• HAPPENED: West Texas Rehabilitation Telethon – was that really this year? 2020? The “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad year?” Doesn’t seem like it! You may have seen our boy don the stage with his smiling, nose-pickin’ self, helping our West Texas Rehab Center raise money for kiddos just like Miller! They raised a record $1.5 million.

• HAPPENED: The AAC, or augmentative and alternative communication device, for Miller to use until his voice matches his intentions. We’ve been working to incorporate that more and more as we learn more about it (and have time! Whew.) so our boy can have a voice! It is an eye-gaze device that allows him to select images on a screen with his eyes so communicate his needs and wants. He’s showing more interest as of late, and we’re pumped to see what he has to say. 🙂

• HAPPENED: Go Shout Love WAS AWESOME. Our people showed up in a HUGE way back in February, and we were very blessed to receive a check to help us make accommodations around the house for Miller the Man. We haven’t embarked on those projects yet, but I can tell you we have some pretty sweet ideas we can’t wait to see come to fruition! THANK YOU to each and every person that donated, shouted, shared Miller’s story, and prayed for us. We know we are very, VERY blessed by our people. We are thankful each and every day.

• POSTPONED: Make-A-Wish! YOU GUYS, Miller was nominated and chosen to receive a wish! From Make-A-Wish!!! The closest thing to an angel on earth, our dear friend Terry, started this all last fall. She nominated him. Shortly thereafter, we met with his fabulous Wish Grantors who are local volunteers for the organization that qualify kiddos, discover their dream wish, and help to fulfill it. Upon sharing what Miller is interested in and enjoys, it was decided Disney World was IT. The be-all end-all for Miller David. After seeing his excitement upon meeting Mickey and Minnie at his birthday party last November, it seemed inevitable. I mean, CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SMILE ON OUR BOY’S FACE AT DISNEY WORLD!? Or having lunch with Mickey Mouse? I can barely contain my excitement. I don’t know that I’ll have a happier day on earth than the day Miller meets Mickey, but I digress.

We were told the process could take around six months, and in the grand scheme of things – what’s six months? Well, for Miller, it could be a pretty big thing – his condition has steadily improved over the course of his life, and while we believe it will continue, it is not a guarantee. So six months was pushing it, and then COVID happened. (I just thought I was going to get through this update without mentioning the dreaded COVID!) In a nutshell, what was six months was pushed to 12-18 and now we’re looking at possibly 24 months from our initial conversation. We were told recently it will be August of 2021 before MAW begins granting travel wishes. And Mill is currently a pretty good ways down that list! So, we’ll revisit in January to see if any changes can/will be made. Our options are 1) stick with the plan and see what/when it happens; 2) change the wish entirely to something without travel. So we’ll see! We want to do whatever is best for Mill while maintaining his health and while trying to remain calm when imagining his little face lit up in the presence of Mickey.

• And finally, OUR NEWS: Miller is being promoted to big brother! In the near future if you see us with a small child, do not be alarmed. We may not have seen anyone much in 2020 due to COVID-19, no we did not get pregnant and have a child since COVID hit the States. Also, we did not steal said child. The child (or children) is on loan to us through the Department of Family and Protective Services and/or CPS.

As you may know, Miller has Leigh’s. It is identified as “a pathogenic variant (m.8993T>G) in the MT-ATP6 gene that has a 97.3% level of heteroplasmy.” So basically, Miller has a chink in his DNA, and he got that chink from me, Jacque. I have the same chink and any future children we have could have the same thing. Explaining how this came to be, how we feel about it, and what it means for our family is a very long conversation, and if we see you in person and you’re curious, feel free to ask! But to make a long story short, we have felt led to grow our family through foster care. To welcome the one I lovingly refer to as “Foster.” We have worked toward this for the better part of 2020. A dear friend and fellow foster mama, Tara, put it into words and immediately brought tears to my eyes: “Miller is going to be a big brother!” I can’t even type that sentence without crying. He will be a GREAT big bro.

As of October, the Thweatts have been verified by the agency of New Horizons to foster-to-adopt. So many emotions are rolled into welcoming a child into our family: How will this affect Miller? How will we take on this new challenge? How will this affect our marriage? Can we do this? Do we have the time? Are we even qualified? At the end of the day, we are relying on God. He knows our hearts. He knows Miller’s needs. He knows what is best and what will happen – it is in His hands.

I find comfort and wisdom from others, and though I’ve never met Emily, I have followed her on Instagram for several years. (God knows, doesn’t He? He’s weaving his goodness into our daily lives all the time – even though social media.) Emily shares that she and her husband opened their home to foster back in 2014. They have since adopted three siblings and fostered several others. Her words resonate with me, like:

“…a phrase I hear often from others in reference to foster children is ‘those kids.’ Like, ‘I just don’t know if I could ever love “those kids” who aren’t really mine.’ I find it is much easier to excuse my lack of involvement in the lives of hurting people when I classify them in my mind as ‘others.’ That separation of my own making entitles me to sit in my safe little bubble, separate from people who make me feel different or threatened or uncomfortable. But the past years have started to slowly shift my mindset as I have been pulled out my comfort zone. It has been both a terrifying and beautiful experience, this journey from ‘them’ to ‘us.’”

And:

“It’s here. Trying to remember that our kids’ future was decided long ago, in a much higher court, by a judge who is true and perfect. It’s already been decided. It’s already been decided. It’s already been decided. #fostercare”

OK so listen, we KNOW this is going to be hard. We are anxious about welcoming a child from an unknown situation, scrambling to accommodate them best we can, and then hitting the ground running with everything we’re told is required with a new placement. The idea of potentially “losing” one of these babies to their biological parents or other next-of-kin is gut-wrenching. But if WE think it’s hard, imagine what the little ones are experiencing? Trauma. Neglect. Fear. Anger. Hunger. You name it. And WE think this is hard for US???

We can do hard things. Life on earth wasn’t intended to be easy – boy, do we know that. And IT IS ALREADY DECIDED. I learned this the hard way shortly after Miller was diagnosed – we don’t have control of diddly-squat. There is such peace in that! Remind me of this when I’m crying on my kitchen floor in the event we fall for this child/these children and they return to their mom, dad, aunt, grandma or second cousin, but for now, I’m choosing to process God’s truth over fear from Psalms 139:

In this new adventure, challenge, journey – whatever you want to call it, please help us pray. Pray with us. Pray for us. Pray for Foster. Pray for Foster’s family. Pray for our case worker. Pray for Miller. Pray that whatever may come, God gets the glory.

My girl Brittney sent me a song last week and it has been on repeat since. Do yourself a favor and have a listen:

You get the glory from this. Please get the glory from this.

We hope to update you guys soon after we meet our new family member! It could be any day now as we understand. And although sharing pictures across social media is frowned upon (for the child’s safety), we will try to share what we can so you can know and pray for Foster alongside us.

Until next time, we love you. Thank you for following along with our story. I hope each person reading this has a blessed day and that you hug your loved ones a little tighter the next time you see them. Yes, even during a pandemic.

Love,

Josh, Jac and Mill